Christopher Robert Pronger.
You only hate him because you want him.
Best defenseman in the league. Even at 35.
He's a beast offensively speaking, too.
He could skate circles around your ass.
And bury it behind your sorry excuse of a goalie.
Hartford Whalers, St. Louis Blues, Edmonton Oilers, Anaheim Ducks, Philadelphia Flyers.
Two Olympic gold medals plus a Stanley Cup. And you have...?